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Oh yes, she’s crying it out January 19, 2010

Posted by Erin F. Wasinger in Being a mama.

If ever I felt confident about this toddler thing, Alice toppled that idea with her newfound realization that the binky’s not coming back. And oh jeezus help me, because I’m so close to digging that damn binky out of its place of exile.

Googling parenting questions is verboten because I have an overactive anxiety gene; every symptom would be a sign of a fatal disease, every lag in development would be a sign she’s going to be the unemployed 40-year-old playing “Tetris” on her laptop in my basement with a bag of Cheetos crumpled up at her feet. Supporting her junk food habit with my Social Security check. Still sporting her mullet. By choice.

Nope. I’m just not the Googling type. Call the doctor, call my mom, ignore the problem: But I won’t Google it.

Until Sunday night. Even I, ever so pragmatic now, have a breaking point.

She snapped out of her agreeable mood — or, more accurately, she shattered it into jagged little shards at her feet — and refused to lay down. Until last week, I lived in a fantasy bedtime world where my child would suck on her binky and lay with her hands behind her head while I read “Don’t Let the Pigeon Stay Up Late,” and then she’d nod off shortly after I walked out of her room.

Now, a few days after I took away the binky, after listening to her scream “MAAAAA” over and over for a half hour, she’s got me Googling “how long to let 19-month-old cry it out?” and “how many weeks til I can have a glass of wine?”

(And have you ever searched “cry it out”? O.M.Gee. Built-in guilt trips abound on this Interwebs! “Crying it out is cruel!” “You’re her mother! You’re supposed to be there for her! You’re scarring her for LIIIIIFFFFFEEEE!” “Serial killers’ mothers made them cry it out! I’m not judging but YOU’RE PROBABLY A HORRIBLE MOTHER! I BET YOUR CHILD EATS WHITE BREAD AND REFINED SUGARS TOO! But I’m not judging! LOL!”)

All I learned from my Web travels is, none of us knows what we’re doing. So I let her cry because I’m, well, rotund and not feeling up for kneeling next to a toddler bed, rubbing her back for 45 minutes. An hour after I left her room the first time, her cries dissipated into whines, which softened into sniffs and then nothing. Tonight, it was more like a half hour. I know this will pass, and I’m commending myself on not waiting until May to do this.

Of course if I waited until June I could have that glass of wine while I’m waiting for her to stop crying. Hmm.



1. nina - January 20, 2010

hang in there-she’ll be fine- besides, being a serial killer can’t be all that fun anyway! Oh, and by-the-by, what makes you think you’ll ever get a social security check- social security will be a dinosaur by then…better to play the lottery, invest in hair dye, or stool softners- your odds of a return are better (no pun intended)! Yeah- with the aging of america- stool softners will be money in the bank…

2. Lori - January 22, 2010

We struggled recently with Skylar too. We made the horrible habit of laying in her bed and reading to her and then letting her fall asleep – with one of us still in her bed! BIG HUGE FAT NO NO!!! She’s over 2 and a half now and our 9 month old goes to bed like a bigger boy than she is girl! It’s ridiculous. Good for you Erin (And Dave?) for sticking to your guns now!

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