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How long til she realizes she’s been hosed? January 12, 2010

Posted by Erin F. Wasinger in Kind of unreasonable, Toddling it.

How one contraption of plastic and rubber could cause so much drama is one of the mysteries of modern parenthood.

And, confession: I am weak.

Case in point: When you’re in the grocery store and your toddler’s walking (as she screams in the cart because her little wings can’t be clipped, man) and she takes off to poke her finger in bags of rice, to squeeze all the bananas, to peel once-orange-but-now-brown price stickers off the floor, what should you do when you tell her “no” and she dramatically throws herself on the floor? A., Give her a binky, grab the bread and milk and just get out of that aisle, or B., I don’t know, because to me the binky is the only option when leaving isn’t a choice.

The binky has made me a bad, lazy parent. I know this. Judge me. Go ahead. I do.

Over the past few weeks binkies have started to disappear. The green one was run over by a car. The white one is under a spare bed in Ohio. We lost the orange one when she bit through it after falling down in a mall parking lot. I’d give you $1 to find the pink one.

That leaves us with two. So imagine my tired panic tonight when I realized the last time I saw either was in the car. The car Dave just took to work. The car Dave would not be reappearing with until after my own bedtime. The car I could almost hear screaming “HA!! GOT YOU!” as Alice thrust her arms upward and leaned against my legs, begging for her “Beee! Beeee!”

Oh, cue the shark music, someone.

“Let’s find Buzz and Woody!” I countered. Oh did I counter. I rattled off her toys’ names from the kitchen to her bed, bribing her into bed without her “beeeee!” thanks to Buzz and Woody, her bucket of dinosaurs, two baby dolls, one Glow Worm, one Ikea frog, two blankies, one Tigger, one Eeyore and a partridge in a pear tree.

It’s like the Toys R Us giraffe threw up on the floor around her tiny toddler bed right now.

But there’s not one binky to be found. “Beeee!” she asked after I ran out of toys to pile around her.

“Oh, binky’s all gone.” We stared at each other for a few seconds as she considered this. We could both hear my heart beat and I swear sweat was flying off my brow like a cartoon character. But I kissed her head and walked out and closed the door and that was that episode.

I haven’t heard from her since, about an hour ago.

Of course, I also haven’t been up to brush my teeth, terrified my footsteps outside her door would remind her I was still alive and lying to her about the whereabouts of her binky.

Mama 1, Alice 0 right now.  A recount may be necessary at 3 a.m.



1. Lori - January 13, 2010

We went cold turkey with Skylar’s nuk (aka nuker…real mature, I know). The first day at day care without it, she bit someone. The next day I brought it “just in case” and she didn’t need it. Alice can do it – you can too! =) Good luck!

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