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Maternity clothes, frankly, suck November 10, 2009

Posted by Erin F. Wasinger in Kind of unreasonable.

My fellow-mom friend once told me she loved being pregnant, and that she missed it, almost, after she gave birth.

I hope my face didn’t reveal the horror I felt at that statement.

I was reminded last Thursday of this moment of disbelief that anyone would miss the bulging waistline, the non-flattering way clothes drape — because that’s what clothes do to pregnant ladies; these yards of cotton (always too-worn cotton) don’t flatter, they drape — over puffed-out mid-sections … Ah yes. My second foray into maternity clothes was accepted with a certain amount of relief (12 percent), disgust (85 percent) and self-loathing (3 percent).

I did not go quietly into that Rubbermaid container to heave out the clothes no one, not even their makers, could love. I made Dave go fetch it from its place of exile in the basement, and I watched as Alice pulled out all the shirts and pants and tossed them aside. And I sighed.

Long-sleeved shirts were in short supply so I tried to rally around a shopping goal, but scanning the racks at a few stores proved fruitless. Who looks good in big, knotty sweaters that hang to the knee? (Let’s not kid ourselves — I’m 5-foot-1, it would hit my shins when I walk.) Why do these clothes have to be so … maternal? Why are the acceptable items so expensive? Why are there three racks at Target, crammed between the tank tops on clearance and the plus-sized clothes? Three racks for nine months. REALLY, TARGET. REALLY?

WHY I’m doing this is clear. I want another one of these:


I’m lucky to be pregnant, I’m lucky to have Alice. Of course. But elastic-waist pants and bell-shaped shirts take more getting used to than one might imagine.

OK, thanks. I feel slightly less angry now.



1. Nicole - November 11, 2009

Hey… I never said that I liked the clothes!! The clothes really are horrid, especially when you can’t find a pair of jeans when you’re not pregnant, much less when you are!

2. Lori - November 11, 2009

I have an over flowing tub of maternity stuff. The ones I had with the last pregnancy will be WAY huge on you, but if you want to get some “new” things for cheap -just shoot me an email. Or if you really want new things… the clearance rack at Shopko of all places was successful for me! (Like 5 bucks a top). They have “cute” jeans too – more modern, less maternal. (The Shopko I went to was on Northland Ave in Appleton).

3. CaptainNeeda - November 11, 2009

I haven’t gotten to look at your blog in a long time. Congratulations! That’s awesome for you because you get another one of those and awesome for us because it means more blog.

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